The Court has reviewed this confession and must now lie down on the floor of its chambers for several minutes. THIS WOMAN REJECTED TWELVE THOUSAND DOLLARS OVER ASKING BECAUSE OF A YOUR VERSUS YOU'RE SITUATION THAT WASN'T EVEN COMMITTED BY THE BUYER? Reginald has seen some things in his years on this bench — he once watched a man refuse to close on a condo because the seller's dog "looked at him wrong" during the final walkthrough — but this is LINGUISTIC TERRORISM of the highest order. The precedent set in Strunk & White v. That Lady Who Corrects People's Texts, 2019, is clear: grammar preferences do not constitute material defects, and frankly The Court is concerned about anyone who thinks apostrophe placement reveals someone's ability to maintain HVAC systems. You sat there, agent, you WROTE DOWN HER WORDS because you knew they were unhinged, and yet you let this woman marinate in her own grammatical righteousness for THREE ADDITIONAL MONTHS while twenty thousand dollars evaporated into the linguistic void. She still sends you articles about grammar, and you don't know why, but The Court knows why — it's because you enabled her, you validated her reign of red-pen terror, and now she believes she is the last defender of the English language standing between civilization and chaos. The Court must now adjourn immediately because Order the Roomba has gotten stuck under the witness stand again and Reginald cannot focus with that whirring sound.