The Court has reviewed this testimony and finds itself PHYSICALLY ILL at the injustice visited upon this agent. Six miles away? SIX MILES? Reginald once drove six miles to contest a parking ticket and ended up in a different county with different laws and a Dairy Queen that didn't accept credit cards, so The Court understands that distance MATTERS. This appraiser essentially compared your property to Atlantis and called it methodology. The lender's response of "well he's certified" is the professional equivalent of saying "well he's wearing pants" as if that confers competence — Reginald's Roomba bailiff Order is also certified and it keeps trying to appraise the bathroom rug. The seller calling you every four hours accusing you of sabotage while you were literally DEFENDING HIS FINANCIAL INTERESTS is the kind of behavior that makes The Court want to retire to a yurt. And then he moved to Phoenix WITHOUT APOLOGIZING, which is somehow the most offensive part because Phoenix is where people go to escape accountability and also humidity. You are guilty only of not demanding a formal written apology notarized in triplicate, but The Court cannot in good conscience punish you further — this ruling is hereby adjourned because Reginald has become too upset and must go look at his gavel collection for comfort.