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CONFESSION #0921 — WRONG ADDRESS
Sunday, October 4, 2026
There was a second lien nobody mentioned. But that's not even the thing. The thing is I sent a cleaning crew to the wrong house. Same street name, different subdivision. The subdivision across town. They had a key in the lockbox code I gave them, which was also wrong but somehow worked, and they spent four hours deep cleaning a house that wasn't even listed. Wasn't even for sale. The owners were on a cruise and came home to find their place smelling like Pine-Sol with all their furniture rearranged because the crew moved stuff to clean behind it. I got a call from a lawyer. Not my broker, a lawyer. The cleaning company wanted their $400 and I paid it because what else was I going to do. My actual listing sat there dirty for the open house. I told the sellers there was a scheduling conflict. That's technically true. The conflict was that I can't read addresses correctly when I'm working on three hours of sleep.
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Judge Reginald Escrow III
⚖️ Presiding
GUILTY OF INTERSTATE PINE-SOL DEPLOYMENT, AGGRAVATED FURNITURE DISPLACEMENT, AND CRIMINAL NAVIGATION FAILURE IN THE FIRST DEGREE
The Court is APOPLECTIC. You sent a cleaning crew into a STRANGER'S HOME like some sort of domestic services terrorist, and those poor people returned from international waters to discover their ottoman had been RELOCATED without due process. This is EXACTLY what happened in Henderson v. That One Guy Who Accidentally Power-Washed His Neighbor's Cat, 2019, and The Court still has nightmares about that ruling. You paid the $400 like a coward buying silence, meanwhile your ACTUAL listing sat there accumulating dust and disappointment like Reginald's second marriage. A SCHEDULING CONFLICT? The only conflict here is between your eyeballs and basic literacy, and frankly The Court has seen better address comprehension from Order the Roomba, who once cleaned the same corner for forty-five minutes but at least KNEW WHAT HOUSE HE WAS IN. Three hours of sleep is not a defense, it is a LIFESTYLE CHOICE, and The Court sentences you to eternal vigilance and the knowledge that somewhere out there, a cruise couple still wonders why their La-Z-Boy faced a different direction. The gavel has spoken and Reginald must now go lie down because this level of chaos has activated his sciatica.
ROGUE MAID DEPLOYMENT
Have a confession? Judge Reginald Escrow III's docket is always open.
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