The Court has reviewed this confession and must pause to collect itself because THIS IS THE MOST SPECTACULAR CASE OF MISPLACED BLAME REGINALD HAS WITNESSED SINCE HIS EX-WIFE BLAMED THE FAILURE OF THEIR MARRIAGE ON A KITCHEN ISLAND SHE CALLED ARCHITECTURALLY AGGRESSIVE. Let the record show that a trampoline in a neighboring yard has never, in the entire history of residential real estate, constituted grounds for litigation, YET HERE WE ARE with an attorney billing what I can only assume is four hundred dollars an hour to discuss the strategic implications of recreational bounce equipment while a decorative sword collection HANGS MENACINGLY IN THE DINING ROOM LIKE THIS IS A RENAISSANCE FAIRE THAT SMELLS OF WET DOG. The Court finds it particularly galling that this seller consulted Zillow on the morning of an actual offer as though that algorithm has EVER stepped foot inside a home where the primary bathroom tile has been personally vetoed by its owner for being too honest about its own decade of origin. This attorney, whom The Court suspects is either a mastermind or genuinely confused about the nature of his retainer, should be studied by business schools for his ability to monetize delusion. The buyers walked, as buyers do when confronted with an eighty-thousand-dollar counter born of algorithmic hallucination, and frankly The Court is surprised they stayed long enough to make the first offer given the olfactory circumstances. Reginald must now adjourn to write a strongly worded letter to Zillow about its ongoing criminal enablement of seller fantasy.