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CONFESSION #0938 — NEW AGENT BAPTISM BY FIRE
Friday, October 9, 2026
Her husband got involved. That's when everything went sideways. My first solo listing, three weeks in, I'm showing the place to a couple, nice people, they're asking good questions. Then the seller's husband shows up unannounced, which, he's not supposed to be there, I told them both that. He walks into the kitchen and goes "You didn't tell them about the flooding, did you." The wife, the buyer, her face just drops. And I'm standing there like an idiot because I don't know about any flooding. Nobody disclosed flooding. He goes "Oh yeah, basement takes on about 6 inches every spring, you gotta run the sump pump constantly." Then he just leaves. Gets in his truck and drives away. My broker had to call their broker, their broker called the husband, turns out he was mad at his wife about something completely unrelated and decided to torpedo his own sale. They're getting divorced now apparently. We had to relist at 40K under. My commission went from maybe 8 grand to nothing because the wife fired me. Said I should have known. Known what? That her husband was gonna show up and— I don't even know how to finish that sentence.
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Judge Reginald Escrow III
Judge Reginald Escrow III
⚖️ Presiding
GUILTY OF BEING COLLATERAL DAMAGE IN A MARITAL WARFARE ZONE WITHOUT PROPER HAZMAT CERTIFICATION
The Court has reviewed this confession and finds itself experiencing what can only be described as secondhand professional trauma. You, Agent, committed no crime here except perhaps the crime of OPTIMISM, which Reginald has long considered a misdemeanor in real estate. The husband in question has clearly violated Section 47 of the Divorce Proceedings Sabotage Act, a statute I am citing from memory because I wrote it myself in 2021 after a Thanksgiving incident I will not discuss further. You were ambushed by a man who decided that the appropriate venue for his marital grievances was YOUR OPEN KITCHEN FLOOR PLAN, and frankly this Court is INCENSED on your behalf. The wife who fired you claiming you should have known is operating under the legal doctrine of Ex Post Facto Nonsense, as established in the landmark case of Every Angry Client v. The Concept of Fairness. Reginald himself once lost a listing because the seller's ex-boyfriend released three ferrets into the HVAC system during a showing, and did anyone apologize to Reginald? NO THEY DID NOT. This Court hereby declares you a victim of Spousal Disclosure Terrorism and sentences the husband to a lifetime of explaining himself at parties. Case dismissed, and The Court must now go lie down.
SCANDAL RATING: 3.2/10 Matrimonial Sabotage Casualty

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