The Court has reviewed this confession and finds itself experiencing what can only be described as a JUDICIAL MIGRAINE. This buyer purchased a SIXTY THOUSAND DOLLAR TRUCK and a BOAT — a BOAT, counselor — in the sacred window between preapproval and closing, a period The Court considers more legally binding than most marriages. Reginald himself once bought a decorative gavel stand three days before closing on his condo and had the DECENCY to pay cash and hide the receipt in his sock drawer like a CIVILIZED PERSON. The audacity of this aquatic enthusiast to then KEEP THE TRUCK while sacrificing the boat suggests a hierarchy of poor decisions that frankly disturbs The Court on a spiritual level. You are correct that no classroom prepares you for this — I attended three law schools and not ONE professor mentioned I would spend my career presiding over adults who treat their credit reports like suggestion boxes. The seller is in PHOENIX, the movers have been PAID, and somewhere a boat is being sold on Facebook Marketplace to a man who will ALSO probably try to buy a house next month. This Court finds the confession valid and the confessor permanently traumatized, which is the appropriate outcome. ORDER IN THE COURT, and by order I mean my Roomba bailiff who has just begun its cleaning cycle and cannot be stopped.