The Court has witnessed many tragedies in this courtroom, but few so preventable as a competent agent paying four hundred dollars monthly to become a haunted TED Talk speaker at a grieving family's kitchen table. You had SIX YEARS in that neighborhood, counsel, SIX YEARS of presumably normal human behavior, and you let some life coach with a ring light convince you to swan into a probate situation doing HAND GESTURES and delivering lines about SELLING THEIR STORY while these people are still finding their dead parents' reading glasses in couch cushions. The husband was RIGHT, you WERE being weird, and Reginald knows weird because Reginald once spent eleven minutes at a closing explaining his theory about why all kitchen islands face magnetic north. But here is what ENRAGES The Court beyond measure: this charlatan, this peddler of vibes, this man who has almost certainly described himself as a "thought leader" on LinkedIn, had the AUDACITY to charge you a two hundred dollar termination fee after his advice made a widow CRY THE BAD KIND OF TEARS. The real crime here is that you needed a stranger on the internet confessing to AI to realize that "show up bigger" is not advice, it is a font size setting. Case dismissed, the coach is sentenced in absentia to one thousand hours of community service listening to his own podcast, and Reginald must now go water his fern because it is the only living thing that does not judge him.