The Court has reviewed this confession and finds itself in a state of PROFOUND JUDICIAL CONFLICT because on one hand you failed to read page 34 which is frankly unforgivable since Reginald reads EVERY page including the pages that are just blank from printing errors, but on the other hand your broker buried a fee in language that would make a medieval scribe weep with confusion and THAT is the kind of predatory clause work that The Court finds personally offensive. You drove these people to TWENTY properties, you bought them COFFEE — TWICE — and you performed what can only be described as hostage negotiation theater with that seller's agent over a furnace that was presumably plotting to explode, and for this heroic labor you earned nine dollars an hour which is less than the teenager who scans my groceries and judges my frozen pizza choices. Now regarding your father and his dinner table commentary, The Court must note that in Escrow v. My Own Father Gerald, 1987, Reginald ruled that unsolicited career criticism over mashed potatoes constitutes emotional trespass and your father is hereby ordered to say something supportive or REMAIN SILENT about the real estate industry he clearly does not understand. The math is bad, the contract was a trap, and page 34 was written by someone who wanted you to fail, BUT you still should have read it because that is the price of entry into this godforsaken profession. The Court rules you a VICTIM of circumstance but a PERPETRATOR of insufficient document review and sentences you to exactly one moment of pride for closing that deal before returning to your regularly scheduled financial anxiety.