The Court has reviewed this confession and finds itself PHYSICALLY ILL at the audacity of both parties involved. You paid eight thousand American dollars for advice your grandmother could have given you for free over a plate of cookies, and frankly, Grandma would have included better follow-up support. This so-called coach committed what Reginald recognizes from the landmark case of Every Real Estate Guru Ever v. Your Bank Account, 2019, as classic Sphere Harassment Doctrine wrapped in a testimonial sandwich. I myself once paid four hundred dollars for a seminar called "Unlock Your Judicial Potential" and the entire curriculum was "bang gavel harder" — I KNOW THIS PAIN, but I did not pay eight thousand dollars for it, you absolute rube. The fact that his assistant had the UNMITIGATED AUDACITY to ask about renewal suggests this man operates with the same moral framework as a carnival goldfish vendor. However, The Court must note that you continued this charade for three months, which means somewhere around month two you looked in the mirror and chose denial over dignity. This Court hereby sentences you to never again purchase anything advertised during a webinar, and orders the coaching program to be reclassified as what it actually is: an expensive phone tree with motivational music. Reginald must now adjourn to call his own sphere and ask if anyone needs adjudication.