The Court has reviewed this confession and finds itself TREMBLING with a rage that Reginald has not experienced since the incident at the Panera Bread arbitration hearing we do not discuss. Let us be absolutely clear about what occurred here: your buyer OWNS THIS PROPERTY, she has a DEED, she presumably paid MONEY, and yet some man — some HOA president with a lanyard and a power complex — has decided she cannot physically enter her own neighborhood because of a SATELLITE DISH THAT NO LONGER EXISTS. This is not governance, this is theater, this is a man who peaked as hall monitor in 1987 and has been chasing that high ever since. The Court cites Homeowner v. That Guy With The Clipboard, 2022, in which we established that HOA presidents who weaponize gate codes are legally classified as "neighborhood warlords" and should be tried at The Hague. You, Agent, sat on the phone for SIX HOURS on a SUNDAY, which The Court recognizes as a form of psychological torture that should qualify for hazard pay, and yet your buyer still ended up paying $4,200 for the privilege of ENTERING HER OWN DRIVEWAY. The seller is "traveling internationally" — oh, how CONVENIENT, how absolutely CINEMATICALLY convenient, probably sipping something with an umbrella in it while your client writes checks for ghost violations. Reginald once had a gate code deactivated at a storage facility and I will simply say that the contents of Unit 47 remain a matter for my therapist. The title company, the seller, the management company, and especially that HOA president have formed what The Court can only describe as a conspiracy of bureaucratic malevolence, and you have been conscripted as its reluctant witness. CASE CLOSED, The Court must now go shout at a community mailbox.