Monday, June 1, 2026

We lost the earnest money dispute. That's not even the staging part. The staging part is worse. Monday: stager arrives with rented furniture. Tuesday: photographer scheduled for 10am. Tuesday 9am: seller's cat knocks over a candle. Tuesday 9:15am: rental sofa is on fire. Tuesday 9:20am: fire department arrives. Tuesday 9:45am: sofa is outside on the lawn, half burned. Tuesday 10am: photographer shows up, asks if we're still doing this. The sofa was $1,200 to replace. Stager says it's on me because I didn't mention the cat. Contract says live flame prohibited during staging. Seller had lit the candle "for ambiance" before I got there. We shot the photos around the burn mark on the carpet. Listed it Thursday. Sold in 12 days but I still owe for that sofa. The cat's fine, by the way. Everyone asks about the cat.

The appraisal came in low. Like 40 thousand dollars low. And my buyer, she calls me screaming, literally screaming, that I somehow caused this. That I picked the wrong appraiser. Which, I don't pick the appraiser? The lender does? She knows this because we went over it twice before closing was even scheduled. But now she's saying she wants to sue the appraiser. Sue him personally. For what, doing his job? The comps don't lie, the house is overpriced, the seller's agent priced it based on what they sold their other listing for six months ago in a completely different neighborhood. None of this is my fault. She calls me nine times on Sunday. Nine. My kid's birthday party is happening and I'm in the bathroom explaining for the fourth time that we can renegotiate or walk away, those are the options. She says walking away isn't an option because she already told her mother she was moving. Her mother. That's the reason. She told her mother. Then Monday she sends me this email, very formal, says she's "documenting everything" for her records. Documenting what? Me answering your calls on my day off? The seller won't budge, obviously. She ended up paying 25 thousand over appraised value in cash to make up the difference. Twenty-five thousand dollars because she didn't want to disappoint her mom. And she left me a three star review. Said communication could have been better.

Her husband got involved. That's when it all went sideways. The sellers had this neighbor, older guy, kept calling code enforcement on them for years. Fence height, RV parking, you name it. So the sellers, before listing, they put up this massive shed right on the property line. Legal, but barely. Blocked the neighbor's kitchen window completely. My job was to sell the house, not litigate a feud. But the husband, he asks me to take photos of the shed from specific angles for the listing. Make it look bigger than it is. He wanted the neighbor to see it online and stew. I did it. Took maybe twelve photos from low angles, made this eight-by-ten shed look like a barn. Posted them all. Buyer's agent calls me two weeks later, furious. Her clients thought they were getting serious storage. Showed up to the walkthrough expecting a workshop. We had to credit them three grand at closing. The sellers blamed me. Which, I mean. They're not wrong.